‘I Feel So Alone’: Siesta Key’s Madisson Opens Up About Mental Health Issues

It doesn’t matter how someone’s life seems, because you never know what’s going on just beneath the surface. And on this week’s Siesta Key, Madisson opened up about her mental health — specifically, how she copes with anxiety and depression.

During a “bittersweet” engagement photo shoot with her fiancé Ish, Madisson admitted to Kelsey that “it sucks” being in a somewhat long-distance relationship — primarily due to the former SK producer’s frequent business trips.

“I had hoped he would be able to stay for the whole month, but he can’t,” she said. “Having Ish here just helps keep me grounded, and it’s a little nerve-racking when he leaves.”

That’s when the bride-to-be broke into tears.

“It’s just hard because I know when he leaves, I feel so alone sometimes. Kelsey, I don’t think you realize that my anxiety gets so bad, and I freak out,” she confessed.

Madisson added that this is an ongoing struggle that she will have to “deal with” through the years.

“It scares me,” she said in between sobs. “I feel so dumb because there’s no specific reason for me to feel this way. And I know that in theory. Like, this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I will have to deal with ups and downs and anxiety and depression, and I know that.”

Kelsey reminded her friend that she can always open up to her and that it’s pretty obvious Ish “wants to be here and isn’t running away.”

“I know that, and every time, he asks me [and says] ‘I will stay if you need me.’ And I feel so stupid sometimes because there’s no reason that it comes on,” Madisson admitted. “I have friends who are incredible, I have a fiancé, and I just feel stupid for having any anxiety or depression because I live such an amazing, incredible life.”

While Kelsey couldn’t exactly relate to having bouts of anxiety, she offered her support.

“You’re not stupid. Everything that’s going on mentally — that’s not something that you can necessarily control. It’s going to happen. You can’t blame yourself. That’s not your fault,” she reassured Madisson. “I can’t say that I have gone through that, so I’m not going to even try to give you advice, but I’m so glad you’re talking about it. That is really brave.”

It is really brave. If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally, visit mentalhealthishealth.us for resources and ways to get help — because mental health is health, and it matters. Catch Siesta Key Wednesdays at 8/7c on MTV.